Understanding massage client relationships will help you in building your massage business just as much as any marketing plan or website. In learning about client relationships and learning to develop them you will be learning about yourself and your own needs -personal and business needs. As you become more aware of your needs you will be able to focus on finding your ideal massage client. Your ideal massage client will match your values and services and will be looking for you. When you work more on people who fit the image of your ideal massage client, you will feel energized and your work will most likely be at it’s best. When you work on less than your ideal massage client you will often feel drained and resentful and you won’t be doing your best work. When you are doing your best work, people will gladly refer their friends and co-workers too you without any other incentive.
Once you have a vision of your ideal massage client which will be based on your own personal and professional values you will then be able to make clear business decisions that will support you in creating a long term massage client and massage business. You will set your policies and procedures up in a way that supports you and your values. When you start compromising those values you increase the risk of burnout.
Developing relationships with your clients means that you understand your role as a massage therapist and are able to set boundaries to support yourself. Boundaries are often thought of as being something that keeps people or things out of your life. Boundaries are actually what help you in valuing yourself and developing your self esteem. It is a process though and doesn’t happen overnight. It will be ongoing throughout your career. You can get support for yourself through working with a supervisor or creating your own peer group.
Learning to listen to clients is really one of the hardest things to do. Most massage therapists also are challenged by their helping complex and find themselves wanting to be giving advice to clients. Becoming more aware of how helping is actually hurting more and learning to just listen can help clients in their healing process. It is a part of setting boundaries to protect and preserve the therapeutic relationship that occurs between a massage therapist and the massage client.
Some of the challenges will be things like:
- becoming friends with clients
- charging what you need to make a good living
- setting cancellation fees that support you in making a living
- setting your hours and services
- dating clients
- caring more about clients that you forget to take care of yourself
You will also be faced with many different types of ethical dilemmas that you will need to sort out one by one. Ethical dilemmas occur when people challenge your boundaries as in should you come in at a special time for a client in pain. Each situation will be different and can have a different answer.
Because massage clients come to massage therapists in a vulnerable state being in pain or under stress and also because they are in some state of undress under sheets lying on your massage table it creates a special dynamic called the therapeutic relationship. To really simplify the concept – it is when clients basically unconsciously or consciously think that you resemble a parent or early caretaker and act in ways that are based on that. It arises because people feel an imbalance of power and look up to you as a massage therapist to help them. It creates a sort of victim mentality and can interfere with healing or getting better. The way to healing is actually by creating boundaries that can help clients learn about themselves.
Learning about the process of transference and counter-transference will be an ongoing part of your massage business. It is helpful to get support in the form of supervision to help you in your career choices.
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Providing the healing power of touch is an honorable and ancient profession. The benefits of massage therapy are numerous and continue to gain acceptance as a mainstream health practice. No one should ever have to feel uncomfortable about getting a massage and they won’t if they are in the hands of a well-trained and ethically centered massage professional.
You bring up many good points although I think that your notion of clients developing a “victim mentality” is a little over the top. Yes, clients often like to talk to their therapists and tell them their problems. But they do the same with their hair dressers. I don’t think that this is necessarily an “imbalance of power”, but our clients know that we are generally empathetic and willing to help if we can. We are after all in a helping profession, and it is not possible to separate the physical process of massage therapy from the verbal aspects of communication. A skillful therapist can make their clients at ease through good communication. That can establish trust and good repeat business.
Granted, some clients will abuse this and try to drain our energy, but those are a small minority. I know this is a big topic and I appreciate that you shed some light on it in your article.
It is a much different situation than seeing your hairdresser. It is because the ‘help’ is so personal. There is always an imbalance of power. It begins the minute the person thinks about looking for a MT to help them. It is because we are a helping profession that this dynamic occurs. It is the therapeutic relationship that occurs between client and therapist. Maybe victim is too strong of a word but I tried to tone it down by saying “sort of victim mentality”. They may become almost helpless thinking that they are going to be rescued by the therapist. It is out of deep early unmet needs that we all have to some degree depending on the ability to attach or not. It is transference that occurs in every therapeutic relationship. It is a very complex process.